So, you want a divorce: A honest conversation. 

Going through a divorce is never easy, and it's even more difficult when you're the one who needs to initiate the conversation. Half of us, at some point, will be the bearers of this heart-wrenching news while the other half will be on the receiving end. Before we explore the right ways to approach this situation, it's crucial to understand what not to do. Many of us, in fear of the reactions, especially when infidelity is part of the equation, tend to make some regrettable choices. A common misconception is that initiating the conversation in a public place could limit the intensity of the emotional reaction. Remember, sincerity and thoughtfulness should be our guiding principles during these challenging times. 

In truth, this approach forces your spouse to face their world collapsing in public. Such a conversation brings forth hidden emotions, making public processing extremely tough. It's crucial to choose a more suitable setting for this critical discussion. 

So, what's the right answer? Truthfully, there might not be a one-size-fits-all answer. This conversation may be one of the most challenging you'll ever undertake. However, I'm here to offer the best advice I can, hoping it will guide you during this difficult time. 

1. Ensure the children are elsewhere. Organize a sleepover with friends or a stay with grandparents. Both you and your spouse require space to work through this. 

 
2. Allow your spouse time to process. The best approach might be to communicate your decision clearly and directly, then express that you don't want to dive into further discussions immediately. If possible, arrange to spend the night elsewhere. This pause can be beneficial for both parties. 

3. Deliver the message face-to-face. It's crucial to summon the courage to share this in person rather than resorting to written communication, emails, or heaven forbid, a text message! 

4. Speak from a personal perspective. Avoid attacking or blaming statements. You could phrase it along these lines: "I've come to a personal decision that I need to share. I feel I can no longer continue in our marriage and believe initiating the divorce process is best for both of us. The reasons leading to this decision don't hold much relevance now. I recognize that I need change. I understand this is a lot to process, so I've arranged to stay elsewhere tonight to allow you some solitude. I am truly sorry." Exit the conversation quietly afterward. 

Of course, this may not play out exactly as planned, but it's a good starting point. 

5. Prioritize your safety. If there's any risk of an angry or violent response, have a trusted person nearby. They can wait by the door while you converse privately with your spouse, then promptly accompany you when you leave. 

 
I understand how intimidating this step can be. However, it's important to remember that this challenging conversation is a necessary part of moving forward in your life. I sincerely wish you courage and strength on this journey.